belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
