is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
