the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
