It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
