I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
