Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
