So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
