i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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