I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
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I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
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