Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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