She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
