All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
