Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
