trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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