I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
