my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
