hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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