fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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