I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
