its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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