sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
