dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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