I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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