just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize