he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
