I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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