There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
