it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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