Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
