good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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