Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize