dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
