Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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