the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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