Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize