Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
