I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
