$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
