I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Let's get the cat blown out
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
