We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
