So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
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obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
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That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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