He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
