I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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