dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
