I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Randomize
