You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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