dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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