So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
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Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Let the clothes fall where they may.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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