I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
