matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
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