I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
