Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
