Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
