we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
