CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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