I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
