yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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