Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
