So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
