For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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