I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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