im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
