he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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