Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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