I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize