um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
