There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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