YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
