yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
