Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Randomize
